Dominick Quartuccio
“The Bold Journey Women Want Us To Take” – Watch HERE.
3rd Annual TEDxWilmingtonWomen // 30 November 2018

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Meet the Speakers: Dominick Quartuccio for TEDxWilmingtonWomen

I’ve spent an inordinate amount of my life’s energy trying to make myself more attractive to women.

I learned how to dress…to make myself more attractive to women.

I learned how to take care of my body…to become more attractive to women.

I built a 15 year career in a passionless profession because it paid a lot…as that’s the story I was sold about what women wanted.

For most of my adult life, I did very few things for myself.

Without really realizing it, I’d organized my entire ecosystem around desperately seeking the approval and validation of women.

And while I always considered myself a champion for women, I learned a hard truth:

It’s impossible to truly respect that which I covet.

That which I covet – money, women, fame – can never fully be seen for what it is…only for the moment to moment role it plays in validating my self-worth.

My wakeup call to this reality did not come subtly: I entered Sex Addicts Anonymous in 2013, (where I would remain until 2017.)

This was a humiliating step for a man who’d worked so hard to curate the ideal external image.

But it was this wakeup call that revealed to me the ways how I’d been harming myself – and not honoring women – and inspired the drive to change.

I woke up.

I did the work.

I leveled up.

Today, I run men’s groups, retreats and workshops with the purpose of refocusing men’s external obsessions with conquests and securing accolades towards an internal journey of learning about and loving himself.

Only through this can he truly honor and respect the women in his life.

The TEDxWilmingtonWomen stage is a beautiful place to stand alongside, support and honor women…

…and to call other men forward to level up.

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the TEDx process: Dominick Quartuccio for TEDxWilmingtonWomen

The Pope, looking at the Statue of David, asked Michelangelo “how do you know what to cut away?”

To which Michelangelo responded simply, “I just remove anything that isn’t David.”

I’m learning that designing a 10-minute TEDx talk is much like the process Michelangelo describes of constructing his masterpiece:

A constant cutting away of anything that isn’t at the core of my idea worth spreading.

I give keynote speeches for a living, typically of the 60-minute variety, so I thought crafting a TEDx talk would be similar.

Not by a long shot.

When packaging a world-changing idea into a 10-minute speech…

…every word requires precision.

There is no slack in the system for waste.

As the {paraphrased} saying goes:

“If you want me to speak for 5 minutes, I need weeks to prepare.

If you want me to speak for an hour, I’m ready now.”

While the internet cannot seem to agree on whether it was Churchill, Twain or Woodrow Wilson who said it…the point is this:

Elaboration is easy.

Precision requires wisdom, focus and dedication.

This process has been equally challenging and enlightening.

It’s forced me to embark on a journey of finding the true heart of my message.

And every time I think I’m done removing pieces of stone, I find new places to chip away.

Unlike Michelangelo, I’ve had the luxury of working with more than a single hunk of stone: I’ve thrown out my talk more than once and started over from scratch without much consequence.

Finally, I’ve found an essential part of my process to involve outside perspective.

I’ve not only hired a speech coach, but I’ve also solicited the advice and feedback of my “target audience” for this message.

My speech coach has been tremendous in helping me unpack the essence of my message and nourish it to a place where there’s a clear, concise big idea that serves as the foundational context of my entire talk.

Having a speech coach has been essential for me, as I have dedicated chunks of time to go deep with someone who has incentive to see me succeed.

Running my ideas and concepts by my target audience – oftentimes dropped casually in conversations as opposed to giving them the full speech – has been tremendous in helping me calibrate the impact (or lack thereof) of my most important insights.

Even if I were to never deliver this speech on a TEDx stage – a reality I don’t want to contemplate – the process to this point has been invaluable in helping me unpack the deepest core of my work.

And that, my friends, is a masterpiece.

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TEDxWilmington Dominick Quartuccio, Photo by Alessandra NicoleReflecting: Dominick Quartuccio for TEDxWilmingtonWomen

“We get asked how we felt about our TEDx talk all the time. And our answer is: we did our jobs. We’re not going to bask in the glory of whether we loved our performance or not. A performer doesn’t worry too much about audience reaction or number of YouTube views or likes. We base our feelings on whether or not we fulfilled our promise to our audience and what we set out to do.”  ⎯ Michael Port Co-Founder, Heroic Public Speaking NYT Best-Selling Author

As a professional speaker, I’ve left many stages and felt many feelings: Exhaustion, frustration, elation and everything in between. Or so I thought.

This time, when I left the TEDx stage, I felt a brand new set of feelings: A deep, resonant sense of calm and humility. My idea worth spreading was now released into the universe. My previous sense ownership over “my idea” had dissolved. This is now the world’s idea, not mine. Sure, I am the author of it. Sure, I was the mouthpiece for bringing it to the TEDxWilmingtonWomen stage. Sure, I will be called upon to be it’s future ambassador in other times and places.

But this idea is no longer “mine.” It belongs to the world.  And that gives me peace.

My new mission is to be this idea’s greatest steward and welcome others who wish to breathe life, energy and new perspective into it.  My new mission is to turn the idea into action, so that present and future generations of men can take the inner journey. My new mission is to listen intently to the sounds that reverberate as this idea lands in previously unwelcome places…

…and to remain compassionate, persistent and resolute as it finds its (many) new homes.

I am humble. I am ready.

Watch Dominick Quartuccio’s TEDx talk HERE.

TEDxWilmingtonWomen 2018, Photograph by Alessandra Nicole


Dominick Quartuccio is an international speaker, executive coach and author of Design Your Future: 3 Steps to Stop Drifting and Take Command of Your Life. Dominick is the co-founder of The Man Amongst Menpodcast and The Discerning Dick: Sexual Wisdom for the Modern Man workshops run in New York City. He calls men forward to design a new definition of what it means to be a modern man, with an emphasis on exploring sexual histories, expanding emotional capacities and honoring the women in their lives. Prior to starting his own firm in 2016, Dominick spent 15 years as a leader at Prudential Financial. His clients are leaders of Fortune 500 financial services, pharmaceutical, insurance, healthcare firms and startup companies. READ MORE

3rd Annual TEDxWilmingtonWomen: Showing Up // 30 November 2018
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